MOVIE REPORT CARD: GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

Date: 5/31/19
Title: Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Director: Michael Dougherty
Starring: Vera Farmiga, Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, Ken Watanabe, Ziyi Zhang, Charles Dance, Bradley Whitford

GRADES

ACTING: 75
DIRECTING: 75
SCREENPLAY: 65
EDITING: 75
CINEMATOGRAPHY: 95
SOUNDTRACK: 95

​FINAL: 80/B-

COMMENTS

I absolutely abhorred, Gareth Edwards' 2014 misguided Godzilla-less snoozefest. Besides the lack of the titular character in that film, the constant cutting away from the action onscreen, was a cinematic sin I will never forgive. In Godzilla: King of the Monsters, we do get more Godzilla. We do get more monsters. However, someone please tell me why in the ever loving fuck, are we constantly cutting back to a hamfisted family drama in the middle of an epic monster battle? AGAIN?! Nobody. Fucking. Cares. These characters are so thinly written, I didn't even remember their names in the film. If we are going to do stuff like this, write your damn characters better. Nobody bought a ticket to Godzilla: King of the Monsters, to watch a family go through therapy. And make awful, world-ending decisions, because of bad family history. And the cutting away from the action. Why are we still doing this? There is a shot towards the end of the film, where a plane purposely flies into frame, to BLOCK the action on screen. It's the same shit we did in 2014. Stop it. Do not do this in Godzilla Vs. Kong. For the love of Jebus, don't do this anymore. That being said, forget the story here. Forget the characters here. The monsters and the battles, are the bread and butter. Any time there is a monster onscreen, Godzilla: King of the Monsters is spectacular. It's a damn-near masterpiece. Until we have to cut away to catch up on family therapy, or read the book of plot exposition. It's a freaking shame. Because of how badly written these characters are, I have to wonder who's idea the family drama story was. It's clear Dougherty respects and loves these monsters. It's shown onscreen every time we see a Kaiju. That's the freaking movie. This family story is so bad, it feels out of place in this. It feels like an afterthought. The monster stuff is so well done, I have to wonder if that's the movie Dougherty wanted to make. And then some Warner Bros. Executive saw an episode of Stranger Things. Look, there's nothing wrong with cutting away from monster action, to catch up with characters and plot. To see how this is done properly, watch Jurassic Park. All of that being said, the epic Kaiju battles are worth a ticket. Just ignore everything else.