HHN LEGACY RANKS THE FRIDAY THE 13TH MOVIES

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

In the spirit of the date, I decided to do something a little fun. The Friday the 13th films, are my favorite of the slasher genre. Jason is my favorite character from the slasher genre. Sure, the original Halloween is a horror masterpiece. Sure Freddy Krueger has a "personality". Sure Scream is better written. 

However, I really have fun with these movies. They don't take themselves seriously and even at their worst, the Friday franchise is still a whole lot of fun. 
I grew up watching these films. I still remember the first time I watched a Friday the 13th movie. It was late at night. I was alone. I remember sitting in front of that small screen, and scared out of my gourd. I was 8, sue me. 

Which one? Well, you'll have to wait as we get there on the countdown. Let's get started.

12. JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY

• RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 13TH 1993
• DIRECTED BY: ADAM MARCUS
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: FREDDY KRUEGER
• BLOODY AWFUL: EVERYTHING ELSE

Let me take you back to a time. A time of VHS and video rental stores. I remember a trip to the supermarket. Next to that supermarket was a mom & pop video store. A shopping trip usually meant a video rental. On this day, I knew which video to rent. If I could convince my dad, which my parents were pretty lenient when it came to the films I watched. I was excited for this movie. I remember it being hyped up like nobody's business. Jason, was going to die- finally. Yeah right. I think most people who watch this movie, will tell you their disappointment comes in the form of no Jason. I mean freakin-A. Even as a youngling, this film was a let down. Kudos for trying to create some kind of mythology, but man, this movie is just no fun. Even at its worst, the Friday films are fun. This movie isn't fun. The best part of the movie, and the one moment everyone remembers from it, comes in the last 60 seconds. To this day, this is the Friday film I watch the least. The Jason design is also terrible.

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11. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

• RELEASE DATE: JULY 28TH 1989
• DIRECTED BY: ROB HEDDEN
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: SUPER PUNCH
• BLOODY AWFUL: I'M ON A BOAT!

I grew up in New York. I was born and raised in Brooklyn, then moved upstate. This was a big deal. The advertising campaign for the movie was everywhere. Usually it involved Jason in, or around, various New York landmarks. I remember one poster which had Jason riding the damn subway. As a child, the notion of Jason roaming the streets of Manhattan scared me to death. I had dreams of the guy crawling through my window at night. I didn't actually watch Jason Takes Manhattan until I was a little older. To my surprise, Jason really wasn't even in New York. Rather, the majority of this film takes place on a boat. I always found the plot of this one a little weird. How does a cruise ship enter into Crystal Lake? And why does the ship not even look like a cruise ship? Is Crystal Lake deep enough? Still, when Jason actually gets to Manhattan, it is a lot of fun, minus the odd toxic waste ending. It is a blast to think about the sewers of New York flooding with skin-burning goo though. As an adult watching the film, it's pretty clear that the franchise was really reaching at this point. Still, the New York climax is a lot of fun.

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10. FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART II

• RELEASE DATE: MAY 1ST 1981
• DIRECTED BY: STEVE MINER
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: JASON VOORHEES
• BLOODY AWFUL: RINSE, REPEAT

The problem I've always had with Friday Part II, is how identical it is with the plot of part I. Literally, it is the same movie as the original, but with Jason instead of his mother. Yeah, spoiler alert: Jason's momma was the killer in Friday the 13th. I didn't see Friday II until I was way older and going back to watch it now, I do find sack-head Jason a little weird. Still, this is classic Friday the 13th. It feels like a Friday the 13th movie. Not much else to say about this one.

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9. JASON X

• RELEASE DATE: APRIL 26TH 2002
• DIRECTED BY: JAMES ISAAC
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: HEADSICLE
• BLOODY AWFUL: THE PLOT

Probably like most people my age, Jason X was the first Friday the 13th film I ever saw in a theater. And oh, my, was it gloriously awful. I remember the theater being totally packed too. Jason X has a lot of problems- The painfully dated CGI, the terrible dialogue, space, future... Although, the space and future plot were done out of necessity (they had to take into account Freddy VS Jason). There's a lot of interesting production problems that went on behind the scenes with this film too, which when I watch it now, only adds to my enjoyment. Jason X takes the absurdity of the Friday the 13th franchise, and just goes balls-to-the-wall crazy with it. And for that, I love it so. 

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8. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING

• RELEASE DATE: MARCH 22ND 1985
• DIRECTED BY: DANNY STEINMANN
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: THE PLOT
• BLOODY AWFUL: THE PLOT

Probably one of the more controversial Friday films, as the Jason we've seen for three films, is not in this. I actually really applaud the film these days for trying something different. After all, Part IV promised Jason was dead. Problem was, it made a lot of money for Paramount so naturally, a sequel was inevitable. As a young one though, watching Part V I felt cheated. I did enjoy the notion that the Friday films, were trying to create a flowing story with Tommy Jarvis. It was nice to see a familiar name progress through all these shenanigans. I do find watching the film now, there is an upped level of debauchery in A New Beginning. Part V is actually really enjoyable. It's familiar, yet different. 

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7. FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART III

• RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 3RD 1982
• DIRECTED BY: STEVE MINOR
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: THE HOCKEY MASK
• BLOODY AWFUL: 3-D

There was a trend in Hollywood at one point in the 80's: make every third film in the franchise 3-D. Jaws 3-D. Amityville 3-D... If you watch Friday the 13th Part III now without the 3-D, it is just downright silly. Shit is constantly being thrown at the camera. Yes, even Yo-yo's and popcorn. It's actually quite funny. While the plot of Friday The 13th Part III is yet another rehash, it is still a lot of fun, and the awkward moments meant to be 3-D really adds a level of fun to it. The Friday franchise really started to find a groove with this one. Not to mention one of the most iconic looks in all of Horror history was born in this installment. If you can get your hands on a 3-D copy of Friday The 13th Part III, I highly suggest you give it a look. The effect just doesn't work, and it's bloody awesome while adding a yet another level of watching enjoyment.

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6. FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

• RELEASE DATE: FEBRUARY 13TH 2009
• DIRECTED BY: MARCUS NISPEL
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: METHODICAL JASON
• BLOODY AWFUL: THE KILLS

Out of all the Platinum Dunes remakes of Horror classics, Friday The 13th is the only one I really like. Friday The 13th as a whole, is a simple premise, and I feel like they kept that tone with this remake. I'm probably one of the only people on the planet, who really digs Jason having and elaborate tunnel system and traps around Crystal Lake. It's absurd, yet works really well, and you know what? It kind of makes sense if you don't think about Jason as a supernatural ghoul. The downside to the remake for me, is in the kills. They are surprisingly very bland compared to other Platinum Dunes outings like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And unlike the other remakes around this same time, it still has fun with it while keeping the premise a little serious. 

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5. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD

• RELEASE DATE: MAY 13TH 1988
• DIRECTED BY: JOHN CARL BUECHLER
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: KANE HODDER
• BLOODY AWFUL: PACING

These days, when you think of people who have played Jason, it is almost impossible to imagine anyone else than Kane Hodder wearing the hockey mask. His introductory film as the character showcases why. While Part VII may not be the best in terms of plot, things are ramped up because of Hodder. He brings a personality to Jason, yet still keeps him menacing and mysterious. The make-up on the character is also really well done, and even adds a continuity to the character in terms of his, um, decay. I also really like the introduction of another character besides Tommy Jarvis, who can go toe-to-toe with Jason. My biggest complaint about Part VII, is in the pacing. it does move a little slow. However, a lot of that could be attributed to Jason and Hodder. You just want to cut back to him at every possible opportunity. And it has the sleeping bag kill.

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4. FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980)

• RELEASE DATE: MAY 9TH 1980
• DIRECTED BY: SEAN S. CUNNINGHAM
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: HEAD-CHOP
• BLOODY AWFUL: EXTRA ENDING

Yes, the original Friday The 13th film is pretty dated these days. Watching it today, the pacing is kind of slow compared to the films that followed. Still, there's a charm to the original. It is the one that would set the tone for 80's slasher genre flicks. Oh, and yes, spoiler alert: Jason isn't in this one. Sort of. Well, he is. But not really. Betsy Palmer is really quite a joy to watch during the finale, which is quite frankly the best part of the film. I also really dig the Psycho inspired twist in its plot. I also really hate how they end this thing. That second ending just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Still, very fun all these years later. 

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3. FREDDY VS. JASON

• RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 15TH 2003
• DIRECTED BY: RONNY YU
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: UM, FREDDY VS. JASON
• BLOODY AWFUL: FEAR OF WATER?

This was an event long in the making. Of course the notion of Freddy and Jason meeting with each other was teased in Jason Goes To Hell, it would be ten years before it would actually happen. To this day, Freddy VS. Jason is one of the funnest cinematic experiences I've ever had in a theater. Yes, the plot isn't all that great, and some of the characters are really annoying, but the film is a whole helluva lot of fun. The crowd was into it. People were rooting for their guy to win. While nobody actually did win, one would probably say Jason had the upper hand at the end (or head). This is a great film to watch with a group of friends, or just to turn your brain off for a few hours. It's a bloody good time.

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2. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES

• RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 1ST 1986
• DIRECTED BY: TOM MCLOUGHLIN
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: THE SCRIPT
• BLOODY AWFUL: I GOT NOTHIN'

It's safe to say audiences felt cheated with the Jason-less Friday The 13th Part V. It was clear audiences really dug Jason, and didn't want an impostor. So, Paramount decided to resurrect the big guy. Literally. Jason Lives is my favorite Friday film in terms of the screenplay. It is actually quite a smartly written one. Long before Wes Craven made Horror films meta and self-aware, Jason Lives did it with a giddy fun. Jason in this film is truly bad-ass. He is supercharged, and ready to hack and slash at all costs. Part VI, pretty much cemented Jason as an unstoppable, mindless force of murder and mayhem. Jason lives, is pure fun. It represents the best of what the Friday films has to offer. 

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1. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER

• RELEASE DATE: APRIL 13TH 1984
• DIRECTED BY: JOSEPH ZITO
• BLOODY BRILLIANT: THE KILLS
• BLOODY AWFUL: I GOT NOTHIN' 
  

So what was that first Friday film I watched late at night as a kid? It was this one. Granted, perhaps a little bit of nostalgia keeps this at my number one spot, but I digress. When I personally think of Friday The 13th, this is how I think about it. Part IV, is fun, it's scary, it's moody, it's awkward, it's bloody, and it's the last one... Wait, never mind. Nowadays, it's quite a fun ride to go back and watch a young Corey Feldman, and a pre Back To The Future Crispin Glover. This movie also has some of the most memorable moments from the Friday franchise. Fond memories of playing the Nintendo NES game, with this entries poster animated at the beginning as well. When I have a hankering for some Friday The 13th, I always pop this one in. It's the most consistent for me. Part IV is awesomesauce.


Well, that's it. Enjoy you Friday the 13th everyone!

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