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HOUSE RANKING UPDATE, BILL & TED

10/15/2016

 
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Greetings internet dwellers!

Well, it's no secret that Florida had some tropical trouble last week. Hurricane Matthew was threatening to stop by, as a category 4 storm. As we all know, the theme parks, including HHN, was shut down for 2 days. Thus, I was not able to attend the event at all last week.

It was actually a nice break. Two days a week, is a lot for me these days. I don't know how some people can go every single day, for a month. Having a break, allows for my mind to reset every week. So, I had an extra break this time. It actually felt like I was going back to the event, for the first time. 

HURRICANE WEIRDNESS

With the approach of Matthew, Universal took some preemptive measures. I'm sure you all have seen the photos, of things being taken down. The Chance Scare Zone banner, and a whole horde of other things, were taken down. 

When the event resumed last Saturday, some of those things that were taken down, had not yet been put back. Furthermore, in the Chance Scare Zone, lighting had not yet returned. When I attended Wednesday, there was still things that were missing. 

The Chance Scare Zone banner, had still not yet been put back, and lighting was still not put back either. The tunnels over in Survive or Die, had also been taken away. They were still missing. A row of food tents across from Fallon, were also gone. 

Thursday and Friday, the Chance Scare Zone banner, had returned, and some lighting in the Zone, had also been redone. Still missing, were the Survive or Die tunnels, and those food tents. Given that the tunnels had not worked the way they wanted them to work in the first place, I would not be surprised if they don't return at all. 

On Wednesday, every house that we entered, seemed really off. Timing, scares, and pacing, just wasn't there. I have heard some rumors, about a handful of Scareactor's quitting, sometime after the hurricane. I can't confirm this, but it's just an observation. 
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CURRENT HOUSE RANKINGS

Despite the oddity of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were really solid nights. Despite this being "Hell Week", it wasn't that busy at all either. Friday, was especially dead. House wait times hovered around 25 minutes, to 80 minutes. Even American Horror Story dropped to 80, after the initial opening. 

9. LUNATIC'S PLAYGROUND 3D

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CURRENT RATING: 1/5
We had the opportunity to do this house by ourselves on Thursday. Just me, and my friend. Even walking through this alone, it is still a dreadful experience. And not in a good way. 

8. KRAMPUS

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CURRENT RATING: 2.5/5
I can't figure out how people love this house so much. Yes, some of the sets are cool, but that's about all Krampus has going for it. It's repetitive, dull, and disappointing. 

7. AMERICAN HORROR STORY

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CURRENT RATING: 3.5/5
​Consistency. That's a term I use a lot when talking about houses. American Horror Story, just hasn't been consistent when it comes to the scares. Great sets, but when nothing is happening, it doesn't matter. 

6. TOMB OF THE ANCIENTS

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CURRENT RATING: 4/5
For some reason, they made a few changes in Tomb. While those changes didn't do too much to affect the house, there was a noticeable shift in intensity. Did Tomb 4 times over the course of 3 days. Still, a solid house.  

5. THE WALKING DEAD

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CURRENT RATING: 4.5/5
That's right, I said it. While others use their bias against the property to justify hating on it, I don't do that. The Walking Dead, is a very good house this year. It has the scares, it has the sets, and it is very well done. Every time I venture through The Walking Dead, I like it more and more. 

4. THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE

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CURRENT RATING: 5/5
Still a great house. Lots of intense scares. I had two run through's, where we missed virtually everything, and it was still intense. 

3. THE EXORCIST

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CURRENT RATING: 5/5
Love this house more and more. They keep adding things to the house as well. Love the new Pazuzu thingy, at the end. Sure, it may not have the most elaborate sets, but it has the intensity. The actor's bring it every time. One of the most consistent houses I've been through this year. 

2. HALLOWEEN: HELL COMES TO HADDONFIELD

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CURRENT RATING: 5/5
​Still solid. If it wasn't for Wednesday run through, this may have made it back to the top. I simply love what they did with this. Even though it's based on an awful film, the house feels original, and a natural sequel to the first. 

1. GHOST TOWN: THE CURSE OF LIGHTNING GULTCH

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CURRENT RATING: 5/5
While I really enjoyed Ghost Town before, something always felt off to me. Still, even at its worst, Ghost Town was still a solid house. They really stepped it up this week. Lots of intense scares, lots of chaos, and a lot of fun. 
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CURRENT SCARE ZONE RANKINGS

I've made my views on the Scare Zones quite clear before. However, I am going to just come out and say it now: the Scare Zones suck this year. They are bad. Bad, may be a bit of a strong term. Let's call them, weak. Very, very weak. 

5. A CHANCE IN HELL

CURRENT RATING: 1/5
​A gigantic waste of space.

4. DEAD MAN'S WARF

CURRENT RATING: 2.5/5
Yes, it's pretty. However, the actor's have resorted to once again, just lumbering around doing nothing. 

3. LAIR OF THE BANSHEES (OR WHATEVER IT IS THEY ARE CALLING IT THESE DAYS)

CURRENT RATING: 3/5
​Great atmosphere, but nothing much else.

2. SURVIVE OR DIE

CURRENT RATING: 3.5/5
Fun, but still pales in comparison to other Zones in New York in the past. They added a motorcycle in here as well.  

1. VAMP 1955

CURRENT RATING: 3.5/5
At least, people actually attempt to do things in this Zone. Still, saying this is the best Scare Zone, isn't saying much at all. 

BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE

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Oh, my. How to even describe just how awful the show is this year? Stale. Unfunny, missed opportunity, and sad. This is supposed to be the 25th anniversary. Why didn't this feel like a 25th anniversary show? That is not the problem though. The show just isn't funny. Everything is forced, and none of the jokes land.

The show's biggest sin though, is it's boring. There is no flow to anything here. And it just makes the entire thing drag on. The new Ted isn't the problem, which I hear the die-hards say to try and justify the show's awfulness. No, it's the writers. The show needs some new-blood moving forward.

We get it, Universal likes to take jabs at Disney. However, there is no need to repeat a joke, that is now 3 years old. Fan service for the die-hards, shouldn't be a thing. They ruin the show as it is. 

There isn't much more to say. See Academy of Villains instead. 

FINAL RATING: 1/5
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UNTIL NEXT WEEK

So that does it for me this week. I will once again, return next Thursday. Hard to believe we are rolling to the finish line at this point. However, a wise man once said: "It aint over till it's over."

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    TOPHER PICCOLO

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